A Blonde Movie Critic

19. Just a college student that loves movies.

Aladdin

Aladdin

 

I’m sure most of you have heard about this by now, one of the most talented actors of our time has lost the battle to depression. Robin Williams had a niche for being such an iconic source of laughter. He knew how to make you laugh and cry through the art of cinema and that’s something that did not go unnoticed. I decided to do a movie review of one of my favorite Robin William movies in honor of his memory and all of the laughs he brought to children and the knack he had for bringing the child out in all of us. As expected, I immediately watched Mrs. Doubtfire right after I heard the news. Reminiscing in the wonderful humor Robin William shared with audiences, I remember my favorite role of his. Though this role was animated, he gave it so much life and humanity. The Genie in Aladdin is one of the BEST supporting roles in the history of supporting roles. Not only is Aladdin one of the best movies released in Disney’s cinematic golden age (alongside Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King), but the Genie steals the show the second “A Friend Like Me” debuts in the movie. I’m actually listening to the soundtrack while writing this review so I can rekindle my childhood memories in my mind and document them in this blog post. It’s not very often where the supporting character is the LARGEST character on the movie poster…just goes to show you. I believe this movie encompasses the kind and humurous spirit of Robin Williams he shared with us on the big screen. Robin Williams is the master of ad libs and as I’m listening to the soundtrack I am starting to realize how much of the Genie’s dialogue was probably pure improv. The movie follows Aladdin, a “street rat” that has a forbidden romance with the Princess of Agrabah, a typical plot scheme for 90s Disney. This movie is heart warming and was the first time Disney animation incorporated true movie magic. Anyone who saw this movie as a kid cannot lie to me and tell me they didn’t FREAK OUT when they saw the Cave of Wonder…it was epic. Jafar was a pretty amazing bad guy as well. The Sultan’s advisor with a hidden agenda and a mischievous talking parrot is a pretty wonderful set up for a perfectly evil baddy by Disney standards. Nowadays Disney is going for that whole “the villain is misunderstood” plot line which I thinks cheats the audience of the fulfilling baddies like there was in the good ol’ days. Jafar is one of the few Disney baddies that doesn’t even need a theme song he is just that perfectly disgustingly evil. Mwahaha. Following Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Jasmine is one of the first Disney princesses that had goals and dreams that didn’t involve a man, but happened to fall in love on the wonderful journey she went on with Aladdin. If you claim you never had “A Whole New World” stuck in your head, you’re lying to yourself. There’s always that turning point where two characters that were unsure or maybe even hated each other have some experience together and fall in love, and in this movie, it takes place on a flying carpet. I can show you the worldddddddd. All in all, it’s one of the most epic “falling in love” scenes I have ever witnessed and you could only imagine how it made little 6 year old me feel sitting in front of the TV screen on my regular carpet THAT DOES NOT FLY in utter disappointment as well as joy. FYI some spoilers are going to be in this review from here on out if you have not already seen this Disney masterpiece. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is the ultimate action scene where Jafar takes control of the Genie and the Genine is absolutely aware of the wrong he is doing, but can’t control it. I can’t exactly explain what it is, but when I see good characters that are forced to do something bad against their will and you can see the pain in their face as they consciously know they are doing something wrong is one of the most amazing things to see an actor/actress achieve in a movie (even if it’s animated). Back to the character I really want to focus on…Genie. His overall persona in the film just fills you with pure joy. His character takes it upon himself to be a source of comedic relief and a role model chop full of modest advice. The fact that anyone who worked on this movie can vouch for Robin Williams in stating that he basically created the character himself and so much of Genie emulated who he truly was only makes you love and appreciate what he gave to the world even more. Overall, this movie is a classic Disney animation that will bring the child out of adults and children will appreciate just the same. Laughs, honesty, humility, a struggling kid that lives on the street and his claim to fame (the early Slum dog Millionaire), and a fulfilling baddy are the ingredients to Aladdin that makes this movie a classic. RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed. Thank you for inspiring me to be a permanent child.

I just had to add this in 🙂

XOXO

KMarie

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Upcoming Movies

Hi Friends! I don’t have a movie review for you today as I haven’t seen anything new recently; however, I have actually gotten some requests from you guys (which I appreciate so much) and I will get to them as soon as I find some time and a way to watch those movies without paying over $11. (I’m in college I have to be unbearably frugal) So to all my friends that made a request, I have not forgotten about you! Also, keep them coming! I’m compiling a list and I can’t wait to see some of the movies you guys have suggested. I am not completely slacking, however! I have updated my top movie picks and threw in a recent box office champion that I am very fond of. This post is not completely pointless as I am seizing the opportunity to post about some upcoming movies I’m excited for! ENJOY. 

gonegirl

This is the best image I could find, guys. Gone Girl is a story that unearths the story of the secrets of a modern marriage. This movie was adapted from the book Gone Girl (obviously) and has a great ensemble lined up. Ben Affleck is one of my personal favorites so I am a smidge bias. Anyway, the trailer looks mysterious and awesome and I can’t wait to see the book brought to life. Apparently, the movie is going to have a different ending than the book. At first, I thought the notion of changing the ending to a story you’re adapting ridiculous. But then I rethought my rejection of the idea and have realized I think that was a smart move on the writer’s side. Now, people are encouraged to go and see the movie just to find out what they change and what twists and turns they added. I am personally intrigued to see what they did with the story. I guess we’ll find out on October 3rd if it was a hit or a miss. Stay tuned 😉 

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Many of you are probably thinking what I first thought…THAT’S NICK FROM NEW GIRL. I LOVE HIM. A very popular opinion. By the looks of the trailer, he plays a similar character in this movie which I believe will become his typecast. I mean, he’s perfect for that goofy guy whose life is just a complete mess. This is a comedy movie that I predict will probably be mediocre. It will do it’s job as a comedy with a predicable story line, but I highly doubt it will be by any means noteworthy. I do sincerely hope this will open up some doors for Jake Johnson since he is my favorite character on New Girl and he just seems like one of those guys who would be down for anything and is super chill. I want to roast s’mores with him or something. Essentially, I’m mainly excited to see Jake Johnson making it to the big screen. The movie looks like I’ll get a chuckle or two out of it though! Guess we’ll find out August 13th! 

thegiver

I tried my best, but I could not find a better poster than this one. Anyway, I’m sure many of us are in the same boat and have read this book as mandatory reading in the 4th grade. Of all the mandatory books I had to read, this was by far my favorite. I don’t want to give anything away for those who didn’t read it, but take my word for it; it’s amazing. The topic is a popular trend in Hollywood right now; the government going to exceptional measures to protect their people from war by implanting extreme conformity. About the casting…Jeff Bridges is a wonderful choice, but Taylor Swift??? Really???? You have this wonderful ensemble lined up with acting legends like Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep and then TAYLOR SWIFT?! Don’t get me wrong, she is an extremely talented singer, but unless you’re Jenny from the block it is uncommon to be able to do both. It’s one of my favorite stories you can imagine my displeasure at this casting selection. In spite of that, I hope she proves me wrong and actually took some acting lessons and does a satisfactory job! 

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Funny story about this one. The Imitation Game is a movie based on the story of Alan Turing, a mathematical genius during World War 2 that deciphered the German code. He was later prosecuted for being gay. My roommate my freshman year of college took a public speaking course and had to pick a subject to speak about. She chose Alan Turing and would ALWAYS practice her speech out loud for me to evaluate. Her speech started out around 5 minutes, then extended to 10, and then to 20, all about Alan Turing. Thanks to Abby, I know more about Alan Turing than I ever wanted to know. This movie is going to be like her annoying speech coming to life all over again. I’m actually going to be able to fact check this entire movie. This is basically the only silly reason I’m pumped for this movie, a juvenile reason I know. The casting is phenomenal, however. I mean how do you go wrong with Benedict Cumberbatch let’s be honest. Incase you haven’t picked it up by now I’m sort of obsessed with Benedict and all of his work. I’m sure this will be an inspiring creative documentary and it takes an interesting twist to the classic World War 2 story by adding what it must have been like to be a homosexual during this time period when it wasn’t even remotely accepted. Not many stories have been told about homosexuality in this time period so I believe it is an interesting perspective that our history classes don’t typically cover. 

XOXO

KMarie 

Up in the Air (2009)

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I stumbled upon this movie on HBO the other day and was wondering what took me so long to watch this sentimental heart wrenching film. If you are an extremely empathetic person, this movie might diminish your happiness for a day or two. This film focuses on the isolated (and quite frankly depressing) life of a corporate “down-sizer” named Ryan Bingham (George Clooney). When a young innovative woman starts work at his firm, his way of living “up in the air” takes a huge turn. Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) starts work at the corporate down-sizing firm with George Clooney’s character and starts implanting new technology into the firm. Before Natalie, the initiative of the corporation was to travel all around America and (literally) fire people. This movie took place right after the economy took a dump and corporations were letting go of a majority of their employees. This movie has a road-trip aspect added to it, or should I say “air-trip.” Natalie and Ryan embark on a journey to fire people so Natalie understands the aspect of how the cooperation functioned before she tried to innovate it, and that’s where all the fun begins…if you can really call it fun. If watching the depressing reactions of people getting fired isn’t bleak enough, following the lives of the main characters doesn’t bring much light. However, the stories are beautiful and honest. The director, Jason Reitman, prevents a full-blown depression by adding a lot of humor to the story as well. I felt as if Anna Kendrick and George Clooney have a sort of “father-daughter” chemistry in this movie and learn from their opposite lifestyles. It’s refreshing to watch an Adult American comedy that deals with the real world, especially at a moment where times were very pressing for the working class. Americans are all too familiar with this moment in recent history, either knowing someone whom was laid off or being laid off themselves. There is so much honesty to the film that coincides with human nature so the audience can relate to this story so well. Bingham is a typical anti-marriage character married to their work and set in his ways; however, you can’t seem to hate his character. In fact, you end up pitying him. Clooney brings a relatable and charming aspect to the character that you can easily believe his character lived his entire life lonely and empty. This movie tells a story about corporate brutality with a romantic comedy atmosphere. It’s unique and well-played out. I have come to the conclusion George Clooney and Anna Kendrick need to be in a film together again, what a freakin’ pair. It’s hard to describe the endearing relationship they have. It’s almost as if father-figure meets mentor meets best friend. Kendrick’s character, Natalie, starts to become undone when she goes on the road with Bingham. She starts to realize the pain of firing people, and how painful it is to be the messenger of such grave news. She tries to emulate Bingham’s autonomous personality, but slowly realizes how unfit she is for the job. In the end, it isn’t a movie about the dreadful economy – it’s about learning to maintain and build relationships with people and the value of being attached to a place, job, or loved one. Bingham’s character starts to realize how lost he become flying high above the clouds for too long, and how his life steered off course in the process. This movie aids in the realization of the idea of home and family, and how we should cherish them. Up in the Air uses an interesting perspective and story telling platform with a comedic twist to alleviate you from the painful reality of the movie. A beautiful story that will make you cry, laugh, and appreciate those around you.

XOXO

KMarie

 

Guardians of the Galaxy: Blockbuster of the Year

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Action packed, thrilling, hilarious, and sincere are all adjectives I would use to describe this revamped superhero movie. Young StarLord/Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) is the Han Solo-esque emblematic asshole with a big heart deep down that goes through a hilarious and enthralling turn of events to discover his heroic attitude. Seems like a few movies we’ve seen before, but this movie has a twist. The strange turn of events that bring the outlaw/criminal/assassin/psychopathic gang together is intricate, elaborate, and detailed. These characters have such depth and interesting back stories I just want to learn more about! Gamora (the badass green chick/Zoe Saldana) has this amazing backstory I would love for the second movie (officially announced at Comic Con) to delve into because it seems that majestic. Now, what you all have been waiting for, the freakin’ Raccoon (Bradley Cooper). I’ll be honest, that Raccoon was the absurd, amusing, rude, and endearing icing on the cake of this film. He was the peanut butter to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich because let’s be honest, a just jelly sandwich is kind of gross and needs peanut butter to make it complete. This hilarious, crotch scratching, and outspoken experimental Raccoon ties together the humor and action in this film. The sequences of this movie are phenomenal and I feel attention needed to be paid to appreciate how wonderfully they organized this movie. The action packed scenes are perfectly balanced with the humorous and emotional scenes. You never get stuck in a series of explosions or a sappy story, the dialogue always loops you back and takes you on another adventure, which makes this movie so funny and alluring. With every amazing movie, there are a few faults (fewer than most in this wonderful Marvel concoction, but still a few). Drax the Destroyer (David Bautista) is definitely the only fault in casting I found in this movie. Now don’t get me wrong, his acting is not that bad. The only reason I pointed it out is because compared to his fellow cast members, it is a bit noticeable. It’s like the kind of acting where someone is talking like they know there is a camera in front of them. However, don’t fret. I would rate him as an average new-to-the-industry actor. I feel as if he will adapt and take notes from his co-workers and grow from here. For future reference, if I rate an actor on the same level as Kristen Stewart, there’s no hope. So be thankful he’s well above that mark! Apart from the acting, his actual character had very little to offer compared to the mad genius, Rocket the Raccoon, and Groot who reveals his secret magical powers throughout the film. One of the quirks added to Drax was his endearing literality (he doesn’t understand sarcasm or metaphors) that was clearly intended to distinguish him just made him all the more disappointing compared to the rest of the crew.The baddy in this film, Ronan (Lee Pace), was average. He isn’t a memorable all-star baddy; however, he did his job as a baddy (aka you hate his guts). Am I going to go out and buy myself a Ronan action-figure? Probably not. Do I own a Loki action-figure? You bet I do. I wouldn’t rate him among the Greats, but he sufficed and fulfilled his bad boy duties in the film. I would rank him next to the Dark Elf in Thor 2: The Dark World. He does his job, but I didn’t resonate or connect to the baddy in any way shape or form. Oh, and there’s one more character that needs to feel some love. GROOT! (Vin Diesel) If you would have told me 7 years ago I would watch an animated tree and fall in love with his sincerity and big eyes I would have thought you were crazy, but it is just crazy enough to work. Groot just gets me, guys. He’s just this sweet little ol’ tree that’s trying to keep his sidekick (Rocket the Raccoon) in check. Every now and then he has these badass moments where he uses his tree-like abilities to wipe out the baddies, he is one of those characters that’s meant to blend into the background to tie it together but ends up standing out more than the main characters in some moments, he just looks at you with those sweet big eyes whenever another character is acting like an asshole, and he extends the love (literally) with his branches. (You’ll understand that reference when you see the film). 😉 Hands down, a wonderful film that all ages will enjoy. This movie has something in store for everyone. You don’t have to be a comic book nerd to love and adore this film. The only risk Marvel really took with this movie was incorporating the quirky and atypical characters, but not only did they work, they went above and beyond my expectations. This cast works wonderfully together, the dialogue is funny and moving (which is difficult for a movie to achieve both without sounding tacky), the special effects are astounding, and the story is captivating. I expect this movie to be loved for generations and become an adored blockbuster. James Gunn remembers what it’s like to have a movie high and clearly emulated it for all of us so we could leave the movie with that wonderful feeling and voice in your head saying, “I have to see that again.”

I’m in a Kardashian kind of mood, so I figured it’s only appropriate to rate this film by using ugly crying Kim Kardashian. Enjoy 🙂

5 out of 5 crying Kim Kardashians for GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.

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XOXO

KMarie

Trailer Reviews

With all of these exciting movies coming out soon, I figured I would spice things up a bit and do (pause for dramatic effect) (drum roll) TRAILER REVIEWS! There’s so much to look forward to in the next few months and these production companies are just fueling our impatience and excitement by teasing us with these enticing movie trailers. Two especially intriguing trailers that came out today are The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. It feels as if these production companies are trying to torture me considering these movies aren’t coming out until November-ish. I’m also very excited for Guardians of the Galaxy (which comes out this Friday) because the few lucky people that got into the premiere said it was one of Marvel’s best films yet! At first, I was pretty shocked considering it is most likely one of Marvel’s weirdest films yet. Anyway, time for the trailer reviews! And ready, set, go!

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

This trailer doesn’t reveal much; however, not much about this teaser is surprising. I mean obviously District 12 was destroy because we found that out at the end of Catching Fire and Katniss is going to be the face of a rebellion. Snow is going to try and stop her and destroy all of the people who are apart of the rebellion or get in his way. Nothing about this trailer is all that alluring or exhilarating since it’s everything we expected, but we get to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman back in action which is amazing since he was such a wonderful actor (I’m still distraught over his death) and Jennifer Lawrence is my spirit animal so yeah there’s that. There’s a short glimpse of Liam Hemsworth’s face that was carved from the gods, but where the heck is Peeta?! He is one of the main characters why is he not even in this for a millisecond?! Or maybe there’s a reason he’s not shown (dun dun dun). I’m pretty confused as to who the hell Julianne Moore is playing. I looked it up online and it said she’s President Alma Coin. Is there another President besides Snow? Does post-apocolyptic America have more than one President? Why is she going against her fellow President? Being the president of post-apocolyptic America must be pretty stressful considering her hair is grey and Snow’s is straight-up white. Anyway, this movie is clearly going to be full of suspense, war against the government, tons of action, rebellion, fire, death, things blowing up, probably a few kissing scenes (who knows if it will be with Katniss and Peeta or Katniss and Gale), and lots of Mockingjays.

P.S. I did not read the books so I am a completely confused objective third party. If anyone contacts me and literally answers the questions I rhetorically asked above I will be super upset! So please don’t so I can watch the movie and be super surprised, thanks 🙂

The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies

Once again, never read the books so I am completely objective and only know what I’ve seen in the movies. Anyway, I would just like to say that Bard (the guy who looks just like Orlando Bloom, but isn’t) was right and everyone should have listened to him. He said Smaug would come down and blow up the entire town, and what did he do? He flew down and set the whole town on fire. SHOULD. HAVE. LISTENED. The whole tone of this trailer is very solace, somber, and pensive. The trailer clearly gives off the vibe of an ending to a series. In the midst of all this solitude and somber music, Thorin gets his baddy pants on and yells “I WILL HAVE WAR.” So I’m kind of getting the vibe a lot of people are going to war and it’s going to be pretty epic and gruesome. In all honesty, this trailer could have been Bilbo frolicking in a field of flowers and everyone would go and see it for the sheer fact that it is the LAST Hobbit movie, the end of an era. This trailer does the final movie a lot of justice with its melancholy atmosphere and intense battle scenes. I am very excited for this movie and I have an uncanny feeling not many people will be disappointed.

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST

Guardians of the Galaxy

So, let’s recap. There’s a group of exotic and diverse criminals that are going to save the galaxy (okay, not the weird part), but this group of outlaws consists of a talking tree (which is hard to imagine that he could do any damage considering someone could end his entire existence by rubbing some sticks together), a human man with a bad attitude, a green assassin (which just seems like a strange mix of the wicked witch of the west and Mystique), a psychopath that just looks like the rock man from the Fantastic Four, and last, but most certainly not least, a raccoon that talks, scratches his balls, and shoots stuff. Sounds like a recipe for a superhero kids movie that went horribly wrong after someone hired an alcoholic writer to contribute. I have to say my initial reaction was, “Marvel is definitely running out of ideas.” THEN, I read some of the premiere reviews, got some insight from people who have actually read the comics, and it actually seems like it’s going to be a fun and unique twist on the classic superhero adventure. Not to mention, they have already announced a sequel so the studio definitely has an insane amount of faith in this movie. I am personally very excited and intrigued to see this movie. Guardians of the Galaxy can go one of two ways, it is either going to be an exhilarating and hilarious superhero movie with tons of action, comedy, and fun character dynamics, or it is going to be a complete flop. I don’t feel like there is going to be a middle line here. Stay tuned because I will update you the second after I see this strange comic book concoction Marvel has whipped up for us.

 

XOXO

KMARIE

Blogging 33,000 Feet Above the Ground

Hi Friends! So I’m literally writing this blog post 33,000 feet above you. I’m pretty sure I’m somewhere above the Mid West currently. I’m just guessing that because when I look out the window I see very little city lights, miles and miles of farmland, and a beautiful peach sunset. As beautiful as the sunset is, I prefer twinkling city lights. This blog post actually isn’t going to be a movie review, but it was supposed to be. What do you mean by that, you ask? I mean I downloaded two movies I’ve been dying to see to watch on this flight and of course both of them paused in the most suspenseful parts of the movie and I can’t download the rest because the Wi-Fi on this plane is dreadful. It’s 2014 I don’t understand why I can’t stream from the sky it’s absolutely ridiculous. (Sarcasm to the highest degree. The fact we can even get Wi-Fi in the sky is amazing) The two movies I downloaded are The Help and The Fifth Estate. I know I’m one of the few people in this world that hasn’t seen the spectacular Help, but I never got around to it! Don’t worry I will finish it as soon as I am on the ground. The main reason I wanted to watch The Fifth Estate is 1. Benedict Cumberbatch 2. Benedict Cumberbatch and 3. I think the idea of revealing government secrets using one of the main freedoms America was founded on (Freedom of Speech) absolutely fascinating. Though I haven’t finished the movie, there was one quote that spoke volumes to me and I felt needed to be shared. “A man will never be completely honest in his true identity; but give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. “ On the journalistic side, it makes complete sense. People will reveal the deepest darkest secrets of their country or dirty secrets in their corporation if they can submit it anonymously and avoid the consequences. It’s actually a tragedy how we’re scared to reveal what could potentially save peoples’ lives or what is morally wrong. It’s sad to think that the reason we fear revealing these secrets is safety. If we posses top secret information, we risk the safety of our families and a future for yourself as well as the people around you. We’re terrified of our own country and the secrets they thrust upon a select number of people. On a less serious note, this quote still applies. For example, think of Internet bullying. People will say the rudest, nastiest, most hurtful things about people they barely know for the sheer adrenaline rush of hurting someone without facing the consequences of how you made that person feel. You won’t see them cry through a computer screen, nor will you know how that comment affected them on a personal level. It’s a sad truth, quoted so perfectly in this movie. So far, The Help is amazing. I think the reason I actually connect with this movie about black history is because it’s relatable. I have yet to put my finger on it, but I connect so well with the characters in this movie versus other black history movies. I’ve watched so many in school and got to a point where I have become desensitized to how tragic this moment in history actually was. Actually, I think I got it. I think the reason I connected with this movie is because not all the white people were basically evil. There are actually white people in this movie that view African Americans as equal. Granted there are a select number, the main character is going out of her way and risking her future in writing to attempt to make a change in the lives of the maids she grew up with. I would like to think if I lived in this time period, I would be just like Emma Stone’s character. I would root for them and treat them as my equal. But in all honesty, the values you grow up with are ingrained in your mind and become part of you. I was raised in an accepting household where ethnicity, religion, and sexuality was never a factor when I met people…they are just people like me. It’s hard to completely comprehend how people in this time period taught their children. They whole hearteningly believed their outlook of African Americans was the right one. It’s sickening for people in this day and age and just makes it even harder to understand how much times have changed. This is a very thought stimulating flight, I must say. I already went on quite a rant about some controversial topics, so I will end this soon. One note I wanted to end on, for those of you who believe movies are just empty remakes with cool CGI, which granted many of them are, there are still wonderful movies about thought provoking topics. I think many of you would be surprised how many more stories there are to be told in one of the most appreciated art forms today.

AND ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE…

My sister’s bridal shower was today!! I decided to share some pictures with you guys. I am so proud of my sister (who just recently got a promotion) for opening a new chapter with the love of her life. So much lies ahead and I am blessed to stand by her every step of the way. CONGRATS, KAITLIN!

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XOXO

KMARIE

Tammy / Melissa McCarthy starring Melissa McCarthy

 

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Well today is my day off! Unfortunately it’s not a happy day off where I frolic around and get errands done, I have strep throat and mono! So I was sitting in my apartment watching endless episodes of New Girl and started to get really sad…so what do I do? I watch a comedy! What do I do after I watch a comedy? I blog about it, so here it goes! I believe there is a general consensus about this movie…it’s a Melissa McCarthy movie starring Melissa McCarthy. I’m afraid she’s been typecasted. Like 1990s Jim Carry typecasted. However, I am going to make the argument that even though she plays similar roles, the reason she’s always asked to do these roles is because SHE’S GOOD AT IT. In the movie she’s a funny, quirky, failure at life, and wimpy criminal. (Similar to Identity Thief) After she loses her job and finds out her husband is cheating on her, she does what any middle aged sad woman would do…she goes on a road trip with her alcoholic grandmother.

There were parts where I chuckled, but I can’t say I was completely satisfied. Most of the dialogue was a little awkward in all honestly. I desperately wanted Susan Sarandon and Melissa McCarthy to have this amazing chemistry, and I got little hints of it, but for the most part this movie managed to make me feel awkward the entire time (like I cringed on more than one occasion). At first, they will be bantering back and fourth and it’s cute and sweet and then they have to go overboard and add a comedic line that is just plain awkward and destroy the integrity of the conversation.The whole time I wanted to hop into the movie and tell Melissa McCarthy to cut the shit, take a shower, give her some money, and hook her up with a ballin’ job to make the haters jealous. The whole purpose of this movie is to laugh at a loser which isn’t particularly my favorite type of comedy. I’m more of a fan of the ridiculous penis jokes and witty intellectual comedy (I know I’ve got a strange range of comedic satisfaction).

I adore Melissa McCarthy and what a wonderful, kind, and funny person she is but this movie just does nothing for anyone with an IQ over 10. However, I still have to commend her! She has a knack for this sad pathetic loser role, I just think the general audience is getting a little tired of it. Oh, and the love interest. WORST LOVE INTEREST EVER. He’s just…insignificant. He’s just this responsible, simplistic, nice, boring guy. He’s that guy at a frat party when I look back at the ridiculous pictures in my phone the next morning and his face is creeping in the background and I’m like, “who’s that guy?” He’s forgettable, sorry Mark Duplass I’m sure you’re a very entertaining person in real life but this movie does nothing for that side of your personality. All in all, I can’t even blame the acting! I honestly think it was the writing. It’s just awkward, bland, forgettable, and I’m probably going to have to start using the thesaurus more often to express my thoughts about these road trip movies.

This isn’t a movie I would rush out and see because in all honesty you’re going to forget about the road trip shenanigans and classic drunk bar scene where a enlightening moment is supposed to happen and everyone realizes what jerks they are and turn their lives around….yeah I bet no one saw that coming. On a separate note, how ironic is it that the movie always turns around and the characters realize their faults when they get completely hammered, but in real life it usually makes every situation worse and is typically a terrible idea if you’re going through any type of distress?! I don’t believe I can think of a time where anyone I know has sent a drunk text they were proud of. Okay little rant is over. I would love to see Melissa McCarthy play a role other than the unself-conscious loser because I feel like she has such potential! She’s a butterfly in her cocoon, just waiting to grow her wings and fly into some Oscar nominations. Someone just has to give her a dignified role for Christ’s sake.

Today’s rating system will feature puppies because I miss my dog more than ever 😦 Tammy gets two puppies out of five!

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XOXO

KMarie

X-Men: Days of Future Past & Iggy Azalea

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Before I get into my movie-critic zone, I came up with this fantastic grading system for my movies. Typically, people will put 3 out of 5 stars or whatever, but that’s BORING. In honor of the fact that I stumbled across Iggy Azalea on my way to Starbucks this afternoon, I decided to make this review whatever amount out of 5 Iggys. I figured every week I’m fascinated or inspired by a certain celebrity, I’ll make them my rating system. Don’t worry, I have a new fascination literally every week. Alright so now that’s taken care of, time to get down to business.

So I was a little troubled about what movie to do next seeing as being a full time working woman allows for very little time to attend the movies and Netflix cannot always suffice my movie craving hunger with mediocre romantic comedies. This movie came out a little while ago, but it is hands down a fan favorite and for a good reason. X-Men Days of Future Past tells the tale of a world at war with a security apparatus that got out of control and has been destroying both the human and mutant race. The X-Men send Wolverine into the past in a desperate effort to change history. One obvious flaw was that time seemed to be a little obstacle as Wolverine frolicked around the past with no consequences in the present for quite some time when the mutant putting him there was bleeding eternally from it,  but a very minor detail compared to the film in whole. The government’s attempts to expand American security to protect the nation and the result of a complete war and flat out annihilation of the human race is definitely a hot topic in Hollywood right now. X-Men takes an exciting outlook on the idea by incorporating sci-fi, character development (young and ignorant Charles Xavier compared to old and wise Professor Xavier), and everyones’ favorite and most alluring subject in high school…AMERICAN HISTORY. Hell yeah, ‘Merica.

I wouldn’t say this movie is by any means groundbreaking, but it was well-polished and tied up many loose ends from the previous movies. I, personally, feel as if Star Trek: Into Darkness took a more exotic and other-worldly twist on the desperate attempt to expand security to ultimately protect the world and have it obviously turn against them, but X-Men had a unique American prospect added to it. It was interesting to look back into the 70s with historically accurate content added to the sci-fi movie which is rare since sci-fi movies are typically set thousands of years from now. It was an interesting take on the popular Hollywood anti-government security theme, so I believe your opinions on the movie rests in your preference of sci-fi.

This X-Men is all about the mutants and there’s one scene that I found just flat out AWESOME.  Using stop motion and slow-motion camera techniques, we find Quicksilver (Evan Peters) taking down a number of adversaries during a rescue attempt to get Magneto out of a Pentagon prison where he’s been held by the US Military. The special effects are mind-boggling in this scene, much better than anything to date. Apart from the astounding movie magic, it’s such a clever and witty way to tackle the adversaries instead of the classic head banging and gun shots we’re all too familiar with. Here, Quicksilver travels at high speed racing around the room moving objects and propellants as he attempts to save Wolverine, Professor X, Beast and Magneto from death (in a very snarky and conceded manner, of course). Not even the bullet dodging in the Matrix or the gun shot in Wanted that spun around the room can compare to this scene.

It’s been a slow comeback since the X-Men First Class prequel (which I thought was clever) and the humdrum spin-off The Wolverine. X-Men First Class seals the deal on the franchise and incorporates history, sci-fi, character development, and a surprisingly relatable and pragmatic plot. Overall, 4 and a half Iggys.

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Oh, and Hugh Jackman is shirtless and Jennifer Lawrence kicks major boot-ay. 

XOXO

KMarie

Maleficent

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Aneglina Jolie could do no wrong in my mind. She hasn’t seemed to age in years, her bone structure is legendary, and her grace carries on and off screen. This is exactly why her role is the sole reason I can grade this film as a B instead of a C. I don’t know about many of you, but I’m getting a little sick of Disney’s new “the villain is misunderstood” trend. I understand the message and the purpose of it for children, but at this point in my life I want an ultimate bad guy that is just bad to the bone. Not of this wishy washy villains, they just won’t do.

Although my love for Angelina is immense, I can’t whole hearty appreciate her performance. As a cameo, her part would have proven to be splendid. As a protagonist; however, I feel as if the audience didn’t have enough to hold onto in that regard. Her presence was heroic and mystical, special effects are mostly to thank for that, but it was one shred of light on Disney’s casting. If only the movie were just as heroic as the special effects made Angelina seem. Time to get to the worst of it…THE FREAKING KING. THE WORST KING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN ALL MY YEARS (only 19 years, but still). His accent was his downfall. One, I couldn’t even take him seriously when he sounds like a goddamn jolly leprechaun. Two, when he “switched to the dark side” and became this paranoid evil man that fear and power consumed…he just sounded like an angry leprechaun that had his gold stolen from him. I never valued something as simple as a voice until this movie. You realize how much a person’s tone actually does for their acting after you experience Sharlto Copley’s acting. The lack of chemistry in this film was almost painful to watch. The character dynamics felt forced and…well…scripted. One twist I appreciate in this retelling of the classic fairytale is how the King did, in fact, go insane. Paranoia, especially over the imminent death of one’s own child, will drive someone to complete insanity.

The chemistry between Angelina and Elle Fanning lacked that “mother daughter” dynamic I think everyone was waiting to spark, but never did. Also, I had high expectations for the adorable and loving fairies. But quite frankly, they were ANNOYING. They weren’t funny, no one even attempted to laugh when they tried a punny line. Their voices started to sound like nails on a chalk board at a certain point. There was no charm to them; in fact, you were pretty pissed with them in the beginning because the idiot fairies couldn’t even figure out how to FEED the baby (aka the Princess Aurora). I know their oblivious and neglectful attitudes were supposed to be charming and push Aurora into the arms of Maleficent, but let’s just say it was not executed in the right fashion and they just played irritating cameos that the film could have really done without.

This film sunk into CGI oblivion and the narrative was mediocre, but Jolie’s strong screen presence did attempt to salvage it. Overall, bad casting all around except for Jolie. The narrative lacked substance, but it did include realistic and honest motivation for these characters to lose their shit (pardon my french). I felt it was a bit of an unnecessary take on an old tale. If you’re going to reinvent something that is held so close to so many people’s hearts, more passion, character development, and chemistry needs to be included.

XOXO

KMarie

Sherlock Holmes

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Sherlock Holmes; no, I’m not talking about the mediocre and stodgy movie starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law (in my opinion), I’m writing about the intellectual and witty crime series drama on BBC starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. I know, this isn’t a movie. However, I recently finished binge watching this wonderful series on Netflix and since I wasted precious moments of my life drooling in front of my computer screen I figured I should make something productive out of it.

I’m not one to be particularly fond of crime shows for the sheer reasons that they are typically predictable, there is always an adamant good versus bad guy, the characters are usually humdrum and monotonous, and the crimes are solved in such an unrealistic and unsurprising manner. The shows have such exciting plots, but the character dynamics are so lackluster it makes for an empty takeaway. This television adaptation of the most infamous and iconic “consulting detective”  does the household name of Sherlock Holmes complete justice. Sherlock Holmes’ character, portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch, is one of the most interesting, clever, witty, and intelligent characters I’ve ever seen illustrated on television.

The crimes featured in this show are complex and constantly applying exciting twists and turns. The crimes are never black and white and the characters’ intertwining dynamics are just as exciting as the colorful crimes.  Holmes and Watson are such timeless and enduring characters that are played out so well. Moriarty is one of the most psychologically disturbed and interesting antagonists I have experienced and is played out wonderfully by Andrew Scott. Throughout the series you worry that the characters’ stories might become more addictive than the plots, but you never end up disappointed. If you haven’t binge watched this series yet, do it. If you’re disappointed, you’re probably super boring and don’t appreciate scintillating dialogue and captivating plots and prefer simplistic dialogue and soporific plot lines that don’t require much intellect. (I say that as an extremely bias and dramatic opinion so don’t take it too seriously)

XOXO

KMarie

P.S. For those of you out there that have already been captivated by this astonishing and wonderful series and went through serious separation anxiety when you watched the last episode…THERE’S HOPE. The fourth season has officially been announced WITH A SPECIAL and filming starts January 2015.